How to Improve Every Business Document
Categories: Corporate Culture | Customer Service | Education
Posted by
Paul Orfalea
at
10:51 AM
4
comments
According to an op-ed piece in The New York Times, the Rhode Island Health Insurance Commissioner's office received a complaint from a cancer patient who could not figure out why his insurance company denied his claim for chemotherapy charges. When the office inquired on behalf of the patient, the insurance company explained, "...they were still sorting through the policy; they believed Kevin's claim was not covered, but they needed more time to figure it out. ...Even the insurance company had trouble understanding its own contract."
Some people believe that insurance policies, mortgage agreements and other commercial documents are written in obtuse language to disadvantage consumers, but I suspect the real reason is less sinister - the authors are over-educated and insufficiently connected to their true audience.
A colleague recalls poring over his first mortgage contract while the notary waited patiently. My friend nervously asked many questions about language he didn't understand. Eventually, the notary reassured him: "It's just standard legalese. The lender makes plenty of money on interest. They don't have to trick anybody." Indeed, so why create a document that arouses so much anxiety in the customer?
Commercial documents are hard to understand because they are cobbled together by cautious committee, and the committee members strive mainly to satisfy each other, with little consideration for the end-reader.
Rhode Island's research showed that insurance policies were "written at a college to graduate-school reading level." Since the average citizen of Rhode Island reads at an eighth grade level, the Insurance Commission now mandates that policies be written to meet that standard. It's a good start, but grade level standards alone will not improve the quality of commercial communications. When writing, we must focus relentlessly on the reader.
The late novelist Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. advised young writers to choose a specific person to write for - he wrote his stories, essays and novels with his sister in mind. Writing for a specific audience, especially an audience of one, helps us communicate in natural language, and checks our impulses toward pomposity.
By the way, Vonnegut also advised against the use of semi-colons, saying, "They are transvestite hermaphrodites, representing exactly nothing. All they do is suggest you might have gone to college."
Considering the findings of the Rhode Island Insurance Commissioner and the observations of Kurt Vonnegut, one might suspect that a college education is our main barrier to clear communication. Humphrey Bogart, as Phillip Marlowe in The Big Sleep, seals the deal: "I've been to college, but I can still speak English when my business demands it."
Business does demand it. When your products and services offer real value to customers, clear communication is the best marketing. From advertising copy to instruction manuals to contracts, organizations that want to communicate clearly should follow Vonnegut's advice: write every document as if it began, "Dear sis..."
Comments
Tiffany Russell wrote on 09/27/09 8:29 PM
I disagree that the prevalence of obtuse business documents is the result of over-education or failure to connect to the audience. After all, the density of many commercial documents, such as insurance policies and mortgage agreements, prohibits many consumers from identifying hidden charges and undesirable policies and enables businesses to absolve themselves of much liability.
For other business documents, authors often do not take the time to revise and proofread their documents in order to clearly and concisely communicate information.
Chanel Ball wrote on 10/03/09 10:54 PM
I agree and think that simplicity is key. I have found myself reading documents where I space out halfway through because the sentences and wording becomes too confusing. As a result I have to backtrack and make sure that I understand what I am reading. I have also caught myself wanting to gloss over certain areas of documents because it looks too daunting to read, which is bad because it is normally the part of the document I need to read in order to understand particular details of the document or contract. I think that the complexity of documents can definitely deter customers away. Who wants to agree to something that they do not totally understand? I know some people who sign documents without fully reading them and they are pretty much agreeing to something without understanding what they are signing for. I do not agree with this but I can also see that they feel even if they read the document, they will not fully understand what they are signing for anyways.
Laura Cimarelli wrote on 11/10/09 12:06 AM
I think that one of the most important aspects of business is customer service and how the company addresses its customers’ needs. Making a profit is the only way that a company can stay in business, and without customers the profit will not be made. Since customer satisfaction is one of the most important goals of businesses, a company should cater its business around the customer. By creating documents that are so complicated that the customer-and the business-don’t even know what the documents mean, it is doing a great disservice to the company’s customer relations and image. The customer enters into the contract confused and irritated which is not how a company should create relationships with its customers. By creating documents that are comprehendible, clear, and concise, both the customer and the company will fully understand the terms of the agreement, creating a trusting relationship leading to higher customer satisfaction. By creating incomprehensible documents, the customers must rely on what the business is telling them they are signing, rather than what they are actually signing which has potential for deception. These confusing documents benefit no one, and they should be changed to where the majority can understand them.
Jacki Iwanski wrote on 09/27/09 7:40 PM
I agree that technical business documents are hard to read and understand. The worst thing is that they are usually important and require a signature, yet people read through them too quickly and are hesitant to ask questions about confusing sentences or phrasing. Part of the problem is that Americans have such busy lives, but on the other hand the language is too complex for most readers.
As a college student, I wish more professors required students to write short documents and practice clear, concise writing. It is easier to ramble on about a subject than to make a clear, direct argument in a page or less.
Stick with the basic rule of marketing, focus on the audience. As you mention earlier, if your sister has trouble reading a document, it is likely that other people with struggle with reading it as well!
Best,
Jacki Iwanski